When life doesn't go the way you planned

Last week was a crazy week.

There were things that happened that we had never encountered before, and the compilation of the events led to what could have been a very stressful week.

Here's what happened:

Monday- This was our 2nd wedding anniversary, praise the Lord, but Aaron and I saw each other for a total of 2 hours the whole day, and had maybe 30 minutes one on one to catch up on life and open a few cards/presents from family. We did get to celebrate the weekend before, which was great, but I learned very quickly that the chaos of missionary life does not slow down for special occasions.

Wednesday- For the second time in a few days, I walked into our kitchen to find our bananas from the fruit bowl torn open and half eaten. When we put the pieces together, we realized that we have some sort of rodent who is attacking our bananas at night, and reeking other types of havoc in our kitchen. Not exactly the most comforting thought when you're trying to sleep at night! Two days later, I walked into the darkened kitchen to see a huge rat scurrying under the dishwasher. Three nights of rodent traps and contraptions later, we still have not caught the banana bandit.

Thursday- Little George was happily eating his lunch when he charmingly convinced me to give him my empty water glass to play with. I remained next to him while he pretended to drink out of it "like a big boy," but a brief phone call pulled my attention away for a few seconds, only to hear a tremendous crash of glass all over the kitchen floor. Everyone was okay (except for the water glass), but I was literally finding shards of glass two rooms away, and it took me three very meticulous cleanings of the floor to make sure I got everything up; all while leaving the antsy toddler strapped to his high chair.

Friday- I returned home from a morning meeting to find Aaron checking our online banking account, where he discovered a suspicious transaction of $200 on our account from the day before. He had to run out the door the next minute, so I called the bank, only to discover another pending suspicious transaction for the same amount. Thankfully, it was quick enough that the bank was able to shut everything down and credit our account with the stolen money. But identity theft was definitely not something we were planning on for our week!

In an attempt to make light of the events, I sent a text message to my parents relaying the rodent problem and the bank account fraud, then ended it by saying: "we are still trying to figure out whether these events are related." They didn't find it amusing, but Aaron and I did. The thought that perhaps the same rat who is eating our bananas decided to steal our debit card information and charge $400 of medical expenses is quite comical. But the reality of the stressful week was anything but.

However, as I processed the week's happenings on Friday night, I made a sudden but certain realization. It would have been very easy to look at any of the single events of the week, let alone the culmination of them, and get very discouraged. To feel "wronged" by the world. For Aaron and I to be angry at each other. But we didn't let it get to us. Even in the moment, when I was cleaning shards of glass up from the floor, God gave me enough grace to be thankful that I had the time to be at home and take care of the mess, and that George didn't get injured. Or when discovering the bank account fraud, I was moreso relieved to have a husband who combs through out bank account every week to make sure things are in order. The rat? Oddly enough, the mystery of trying to catch the "banana bandit" has brought Aaron and I closer together, because this out-of-the ordinary thing is way better when we can weather it together.

Furthermore, when looking at the graces of the week from a ministry standpoint, the Lord truly blessed our mission here in many ways this past week. Sometimes, when things are at their worst or most chaotic, that is when God chooses to bring about the greatest fruit in a different area of our lives. "For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens. Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground" (Ephesians 6:12-13).  Am I saying that the rats eating our bananas are actually demons? No. But what I am saying is that the devil will use every little bump in the road to tempt us into discouragement. The best thing we can do to resist this? Put on the armor of God through prayer, Mass, Confession, and community/accountability with those closest in our lives. And, just like our sweet little George, who dressed up like St. George for All Saints' Day yesterday, when you put on the armor of God, you will be able to slay any "dragons" that come your way (and hopefully some rats, too!).

Our St. George and his Dragon friend on All Saints' Day

Encountering the Risen Lord

Then they said to each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the scriptures to us? ~Luke 24:32

This verse, from Luke's gospel on the Road To Emmaus, reveals the state of many of our own hearts as we leave another Lenten season behind and rejoice in the Risen Lord. How often do we come out of the desert of Lent and into the paradise of the Easter season and realize the ways the Lord spoke to us "on the way" without us recognizing Him? How easy is it to forget His voice during the day to day struggles of life? How frequently do we forget to recognize Jesus Christ in our neighbor, in the stranger, in our family?

I had the opportunity to dive deeply into this passage (Luke 24:13-35) over the past couple of weeks during two of the bible studies I lead here at Benedictine through the ancient method of prayer called lectio divina. It was incredible how significantly the Lord spoke to each one of our hearts through the words of this sacred scripture in both similar and different ways. It is such a reminder that scripture truly is the living word of God,  and that to encounter the risen Lord, we need not look far.

As the Easter season beautifully coincides with the season of Spring, God's love reminds us that we are never alone. Jesus will always pursue our hearts and walk with us, even when we try to run away from things we don't understand or cannot accept.

                      

We've had a beautiful Easter season so far, with a lovely visit from the Wisconsin Lofy's- Scott, Patti, and Bernice (Aaron's parents and grandmother) during Holy Week and into Easter Monday (pictured above). Please keep us in prayer as we wrap up the end of the school year here at Benedictine in the next few weeks.  The students are in a frenzy as they strive to finish out the year and tie up loose ends with their academic lives, their social life, and their other commitments. Our biggest role at this point is to just be there for them and love them. We have a couple of events coming up that our FOCUS team is putting on that'll hopefully accomplish just that: a place for them to come away for awhile and rest, have fun, and encounter God's love through authentic relationships, just like these disciples of Jesus encountered Him on their way to Emmaus.

Also, I hope you like our new blog name and design! I decided that it's time we make this blog a family blog. We hope that our posts and stories about God's mission through us with FOCUS as well as God's more important mission through us with our family will inspire you to love your own in this world as well. We recently heard a quote from St. John Paul II that struck a cord in our hearts: "as the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live." We are striving to bring back the values that the family and the world must center on: selfless life-giving love, respect, faith, and hope. God bless you all!

The Beauty of Suffering

Well, it has been quite awhile since I've posted on here. The biggest reason for my hiatus from the blogging world is our little bundle of joy, George Peter. Below is a reflection I wrote on my time of pregnancy and the newfound appreciation of suffering God granted me. **Also, sorry for the white highlighting on the text... it's a glitch I cannot seem to fix!

Two months after my husband, Aaron, and I were married, we received some thrilling news from two little pink lines: I was pregnant! As the excitement grew with each passing day, so did my morning sickness. For nearly three months straight, I awoke every morning feeling like my body was hit by a train. It was a struggle to get out of bed before 10 am for many of those days, and I lost nearly 10 pounds during that time. Unfortunately, when this suffering came, I did not suffer with it well. I spent most of my time complaining about it to myself, to God, and to Aaron. Though I knew that this suffering was temporary and meant that the baby growing inside of me was healthy, I was sick of it, literally. Until one day, I came across this passage in the Diary of St. Faustina: “Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Saviour; in suffering love becomes crystallised; the greater the suffering, the purer the love. (57)” I realized that God was giving me an incredible opportunity to offer up my morning sickness to Him; that through this persistent bit of suffering I experienced every day, He was allowing me to share in the sufferings of Christ on the cross, and so grow in love for Him and for my baby. After realizing what Jesus was inviting me into through my daily sufferings, I decided to pick different intentions to offer them up for each day. This not only gave me a better outlook on the mystery of suffering, but it allowed me to unite my heart more closely to Jesus’ sacred heart and His bride, the Church.

After making it through almost half of the pregnancy, Aaron and I decided that it was time to educate ourselves on the art of childbirth. We signed up for a class that taught a method of natural childbirth, something that we had originally chosen largely due to my fear of needing an unnecessary caesarean surgery (c-section).  However, what we discovered in regards to the beauty of natural childbirth further edified my newfound appreciation for suffering. When Adam and Eve sinned against God in the Garden, God increased the pangs of women’s childbirth, “in pain shall you bring forth children.” (Genesis 3:16) While this was not originally part of God’s plan for women, it is a direct result of the Fall, and therefore is a pain that women’s bodies are supposed to experience. In fact, all suffering in the world directly traces back to that pivotal day when Adam and Eve chose to sin against God. The method of natural childbirth we chose to learn, called the Bradley method, did not teach any fancy techniques for dealing with the pain of contractions (think Lamaze breathing that you see in the movies), but instead, it taught me to embrace the pain by relaxing every muscle in my body and letting the contraction run its course. In fact, research has found that when the body fights against labor contractions, it wears itself out much more quickly and the contractions are more painful. The experience of suffering becomes much more tolerable and meaningful when you embrace the pain, rather than fight it or try to escape from it.

When we experience any type of suffering, our base instinct is to enable our “fight or flight” reaction by choosing one of these coping mechanisms: fight it by complaining about it, denying it, or becoming discouraged by it…. or flee from it by turning to alcohol, illicit drugs, or unhealthy relationships/habits. However, if we instead embrace the suffering, like I learned in my childbirth class, we are uniting ourselves to Jesus’ own sufferings on the Cross, as well as to the sufferings of all mankind. This is the essence of a concept called redemptive suffering. Jesus’ suffering and death redeemed our own lives by allowing him to pay the price for our sins. In the same way, our sufferings, when embraced and offered up to God, have the power to redeem ourselves and others as God so chooses. This is what St. Paul refers to in his letter to the Colossians, when he says: “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh, I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church” (1:24).

Jesus gave me the opportunity to test my newfound appreciation for suffering very early in the morning on August 6^th when our son decided to make his entrance into the outside world. In preparation for the big event, my husband and I compiled a list of intentions that I hoped to offer up my labor pains for, particularly in the height of labor. For over an hour, just before a new contraction welled up, my husband picked an intention for me to give the pain to, and interestingly enough, the severity of the contraction pains actually correlated accordingly to the severity of the intention. Labor was by far the most difficult amount of suffering I have ever experienced, but even when I was at my breaking point and wanting to give up (we’ve all been there!), the Lord delivered me from the pain, giving me one of the best gifts I’ve ever received: the gift of a new life. Which leads me to my final revelation on the mysteries of suffering: suffering always has the potential to bring forth new life.

You don’t have to be a woman in labor to embrace this gift of suffering; this Lent, as you reflect on the sufferings of Christ, consider the beautiful opportunity God gives you through your own sufferings to further unite yourself to Him and His mystical body, the Church, and offer it up for the life He desires to bring into the world. Let’s change the culture by bearing our crosses joyfully rather than fighting or hiding from them! “If God sends you many sufferings, it is a sign that He has great plans for you and certainly wants to make you a saint.” --St. Ignatius of Loyola

Springing Fourth

As Spring is trying to show it's beautiful face across the country, it seems like our lives are on a similar wave-length. The students and missionaries are getting "spring fever" but are also clinging to the passing weeks that we have left of the school year.

God has tremendously blessed this semester, and before I knew it, it was already the middle of April!! Here are a few recent highlights:

Spreading Christ's Love: This past Saturday, I was blessed to bring 12 women an hour south of Atchison to the University of Kansas campus in Lawrence, KS. We were there for a very specific reason: to gain experience spreading the love of God and the message of the Gospel to people who may have never heard it before. Oftentimes, attending a Catholic college can lead to a sort of complacency about the spiritual pulse of the world. In order to break out of the "Benedictine Bubble," we often need to break far out of our comfort zones. Thus came fourth the idea to take women in my senior bible studies and my entire "discipleship chain"- the women that are meeting weekly with me for mentorship or with one of the students that I mentor- on a mission to share God's love. What resulted were many Holy Spirit-filled conversations with a wide range of people on the KU campus- with atheists, pagans, preachers, lukewarm Catholics to name a few. I was amazed with the joy that I saw in the women after we returned from our hour of evangelizing. They were renewed with a missionary zeal to share the Gospel with all they encounter, which as Pope Francis says, is a "daily responsibility" (Joy of the Gospel). On the way back, we offered a rosary and some intercessions for those we encountered, and can only hope that God will continue to grow the seeds that He allowed us to sow in their hearts.

Oh Baby: Now beginning my 5th month of pregnancy, we are amazed at the support and love that we're receiving from the students and community here at Benedictine. On Sunday, we decided to throw a "Gender Reveal Party" to announce the gender of "baby Lofy" (it's a boy!!!!).  Around 45 students attended this casual event, donning their pink or blue with excitement as we anticipate our new gift of life. Here is a video recap of the night, with many joyful students: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx1YVmvGcXo

Continued Beginnings: As usual, it's that time of year where options are tossed around about the coming school year. Aaron and I did not have to go through much of a discernment process to realize that God is definitely still calling us to serve within this apostolate of FOCUS. Next year, Aaron will be taking on the role of Team Director. Though we haven't gotten the official word on where we'll be placed, we will be excited to announce that within the coming weeks!

Have a blessed Holy Week, and a joyous Easter!

A Blessed Journey

The past month has been incredibly blessed! Aaron and I had the privilege to take a pilgrimage to Rome, Italy during the first week of Christmas break as a final wedding gift. Our biggest purpose for going was to receive the Sposi Novelli blessing, a special gift given to any newlywed couple who travels to Rome within two months of their wedding day. We received the blessing during Pope Francis' General Public Audience which takes place every Wednesday that the Pope is in Rome. There has been a long-standing tradition of newlywed couples attending this audience in their wedding attire and receiving this blessing at the end of the Audience during the general blessing. We built a week around the Wednesday audience, spending the rest of our time making visits to some of the holiest places in Rome, as well as a weekend trip to Assisi.

Waiting for the Audience to begin!

View of the Pope's platform, with hundreds in St. Peter's Square just below

Pope Francis giving his homily

The highlight of the pilgrimage was definitely on Wednesday at the General Audience. As newlyweds, we were given priority seating up close and personal to the Holy Father (about 30 feet away from where he sat), with about 20 other newlywed couples from around the world (only about five were from the US). At the end of the audience, Pope Francis went out into the main crowd in St. Peter's Square and visited with the pilgrims while Vatican officials ushered all of us newlywed couples onto the front steps of St. Peter's Basilica. We waited there for about 30 minutes in great excitement, disbelief, and joy, looking like a scene from a bridal magazine with all these different shapes, sizes and nationalities of bridal gowns. The Holy Father slowly began making his way towards the newlywed couples, only after greeting his way along the rows of people, never forgetting to stop and kiss any baby he saw. We were standing in about the middle of the row of newlywed couples, so we were excited and ready to meet Pope Francis by the time he reached us. We happily received about 20 seconds with him, shaking his hand, telling him where we were from, and giving him a document of over 200 prayer intentions we brought with us from our students, family, and friends. Before he left us, he put his arms around myself and Aaron and gave us a silent and beautiful blessing. "Please pray for me," he smiled in broken English, and walked gently to the next couple. As I wiped the tears from my eyes and took Aaron's hand, we knew that God had allowed us to be in the presence of one of the most humble, gentle, and strong men our generation has ever seen. And we knew that whatever we would face in our married lives, it wouldn't ever be alone. Our marriage truly has been blessed by the grace of God.

We do have pictures of us meeting the Pope and receiving the blessing from him. We hope to put those out in our February newsletter, so keep an eye out! Another incredible grace that has happened since we returned is that many of the prayer intentions we brought with us to pray for while in Rome and also gave a copy of to Pope Francis have started to be answered in miraculous ways. This can only be attributed to how much God loves each one of His children on earth and how He desires us to come to Him with all our burdens. Prayers can be answered anywhere and in any way, but they're so much more powerful when they're shared with others!

Oh, and afterwards, we were interviewed on national tv by Good Morning America about it. They were doing a special in Rome that week and wanted an American newlywed couple to interview, so in God's great sense of humor, we were picked to do the interview. It may have been more exciting on any other day other than one where we just met Pope Francis.... That kind of trumped everything else that day. But it was still pretty cool, and hopefully we were able to bring some joy and truth to America's morning television world. Here is the link if you'd like to see it:  http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/kansas-couple-meeting-pope-francis-21259352

Wedded Bliss

It's the happiest day of your life. It goes faster than you think it will. It's worth the work in the end.

These are all phrases I've heard probably a hundred times in the past nine months of my engagement to Aaron about our wedding day. Though I will admit that all of these phrases can and do apply to the day of October 26th, 2013, I'd like to add one of my own: it's just the beautiful beginning. 

Mine and Aaron's wedding day was truly a beautiful beginning. Yes, it was the happiest day thus far of my 24 years of life. Yes, the day went faster than I had hoped it would. Yes, the months of planning and spiritually preparing bore much fruit in the end. However, the wedding is just one day. October 26, 2013 will now only be a happy, fast, and enjoyable memory. What Aaron and I now have is a Vocation. A life to begin building, together. Two lives, coming together as one to serve the Lord in whatever He allows us to go through-- the good times and the bad. And because of that, I couldn't be more joyful. Our wedding day happened once in our lives. But our marriage has--and will-- happen every single day, hour, minute of our lives. That's what we truly need to embrace. 

Thank you to all who prayed for us on our wedding day! Please continue to pray for us newlyweds as we begin our lives together. Below are some pictures from the day. 

Our crazy FOCUS teammates from Benedictine :) 

Roar-ing into Fall

The past couple weeks, my team and I have been deeply engaged in building relationships with the students on campus. One struggle that sometimes happens on campus is that missionaries forget that they can and should be themselves when interacting with students. The below music video is one creative way that we let our real personalities shine as a way to officially introduce the female missionaries. The students loved it and we have already found ways to more deeply connect with them as a result. Who knew?! This was filmed outside of the beautiful house I am privileged to live in for the next month with the four other female missionaries. Enjoy!