When life doesn't go the way you planned

Last week was a crazy week.

There were things that happened that we had never encountered before, and the compilation of the events led to what could have been a very stressful week.

Here's what happened:

Monday- This was our 2nd wedding anniversary, praise the Lord, but Aaron and I saw each other for a total of 2 hours the whole day, and had maybe 30 minutes one on one to catch up on life and open a few cards/presents from family. We did get to celebrate the weekend before, which was great, but I learned very quickly that the chaos of missionary life does not slow down for special occasions.

Wednesday- For the second time in a few days, I walked into our kitchen to find our bananas from the fruit bowl torn open and half eaten. When we put the pieces together, we realized that we have some sort of rodent who is attacking our bananas at night, and reeking other types of havoc in our kitchen. Not exactly the most comforting thought when you're trying to sleep at night! Two days later, I walked into the darkened kitchen to see a huge rat scurrying under the dishwasher. Three nights of rodent traps and contraptions later, we still have not caught the banana bandit.

Thursday- Little George was happily eating his lunch when he charmingly convinced me to give him my empty water glass to play with. I remained next to him while he pretended to drink out of it "like a big boy," but a brief phone call pulled my attention away for a few seconds, only to hear a tremendous crash of glass all over the kitchen floor. Everyone was okay (except for the water glass), but I was literally finding shards of glass two rooms away, and it took me three very meticulous cleanings of the floor to make sure I got everything up; all while leaving the antsy toddler strapped to his high chair.

Friday- I returned home from a morning meeting to find Aaron checking our online banking account, where he discovered a suspicious transaction of $200 on our account from the day before. He had to run out the door the next minute, so I called the bank, only to discover another pending suspicious transaction for the same amount. Thankfully, it was quick enough that the bank was able to shut everything down and credit our account with the stolen money. But identity theft was definitely not something we were planning on for our week!

In an attempt to make light of the events, I sent a text message to my parents relaying the rodent problem and the bank account fraud, then ended it by saying: "we are still trying to figure out whether these events are related." They didn't find it amusing, but Aaron and I did. The thought that perhaps the same rat who is eating our bananas decided to steal our debit card information and charge $400 of medical expenses is quite comical. But the reality of the stressful week was anything but.

However, as I processed the week's happenings on Friday night, I made a sudden but certain realization. It would have been very easy to look at any of the single events of the week, let alone the culmination of them, and get very discouraged. To feel "wronged" by the world. For Aaron and I to be angry at each other. But we didn't let it get to us. Even in the moment, when I was cleaning shards of glass up from the floor, God gave me enough grace to be thankful that I had the time to be at home and take care of the mess, and that George didn't get injured. Or when discovering the bank account fraud, I was moreso relieved to have a husband who combs through out bank account every week to make sure things are in order. The rat? Oddly enough, the mystery of trying to catch the "banana bandit" has brought Aaron and I closer together, because this out-of-the ordinary thing is way better when we can weather it together.

Furthermore, when looking at the graces of the week from a ministry standpoint, the Lord truly blessed our mission here in many ways this past week. Sometimes, when things are at their worst or most chaotic, that is when God chooses to bring about the greatest fruit in a different area of our lives. "For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens. Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground" (Ephesians 6:12-13).  Am I saying that the rats eating our bananas are actually demons? No. But what I am saying is that the devil will use every little bump in the road to tempt us into discouragement. The best thing we can do to resist this? Put on the armor of God through prayer, Mass, Confession, and community/accountability with those closest in our lives. And, just like our sweet little George, who dressed up like St. George for All Saints' Day yesterday, when you put on the armor of God, you will be able to slay any "dragons" that come your way (and hopefully some rats, too!).

Our St. George and his Dragon friend on All Saints' Day

Encountering the Risen Lord

Then they said to each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the scriptures to us? ~Luke 24:32

This verse, from Luke's gospel on the Road To Emmaus, reveals the state of many of our own hearts as we leave another Lenten season behind and rejoice in the Risen Lord. How often do we come out of the desert of Lent and into the paradise of the Easter season and realize the ways the Lord spoke to us "on the way" without us recognizing Him? How easy is it to forget His voice during the day to day struggles of life? How frequently do we forget to recognize Jesus Christ in our neighbor, in the stranger, in our family?

I had the opportunity to dive deeply into this passage (Luke 24:13-35) over the past couple of weeks during two of the bible studies I lead here at Benedictine through the ancient method of prayer called lectio divina. It was incredible how significantly the Lord spoke to each one of our hearts through the words of this sacred scripture in both similar and different ways. It is such a reminder that scripture truly is the living word of God,  and that to encounter the risen Lord, we need not look far.

As the Easter season beautifully coincides with the season of Spring, God's love reminds us that we are never alone. Jesus will always pursue our hearts and walk with us, even when we try to run away from things we don't understand or cannot accept.

                      

We've had a beautiful Easter season so far, with a lovely visit from the Wisconsin Lofy's- Scott, Patti, and Bernice (Aaron's parents and grandmother) during Holy Week and into Easter Monday (pictured above). Please keep us in prayer as we wrap up the end of the school year here at Benedictine in the next few weeks.  The students are in a frenzy as they strive to finish out the year and tie up loose ends with their academic lives, their social life, and their other commitments. Our biggest role at this point is to just be there for them and love them. We have a couple of events coming up that our FOCUS team is putting on that'll hopefully accomplish just that: a place for them to come away for awhile and rest, have fun, and encounter God's love through authentic relationships, just like these disciples of Jesus encountered Him on their way to Emmaus.

Also, I hope you like our new blog name and design! I decided that it's time we make this blog a family blog. We hope that our posts and stories about God's mission through us with FOCUS as well as God's more important mission through us with our family will inspire you to love your own in this world as well. We recently heard a quote from St. John Paul II that struck a cord in our hearts: "as the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live." We are striving to bring back the values that the family and the world must center on: selfless life-giving love, respect, faith, and hope. God bless you all!

The Beauty of Suffering

Well, it has been quite awhile since I've posted on here. The biggest reason for my hiatus from the blogging world is our little bundle of joy, George Peter. Below is a reflection I wrote on my time of pregnancy and the newfound appreciation of suffering God granted me. **Also, sorry for the white highlighting on the text... it's a glitch I cannot seem to fix!

Two months after my husband, Aaron, and I were married, we received some thrilling news from two little pink lines: I was pregnant! As the excitement grew with each passing day, so did my morning sickness. For nearly three months straight, I awoke every morning feeling like my body was hit by a train. It was a struggle to get out of bed before 10 am for many of those days, and I lost nearly 10 pounds during that time. Unfortunately, when this suffering came, I did not suffer with it well. I spent most of my time complaining about it to myself, to God, and to Aaron. Though I knew that this suffering was temporary and meant that the baby growing inside of me was healthy, I was sick of it, literally. Until one day, I came across this passage in the Diary of St. Faustina: “Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Saviour; in suffering love becomes crystallised; the greater the suffering, the purer the love. (57)” I realized that God was giving me an incredible opportunity to offer up my morning sickness to Him; that through this persistent bit of suffering I experienced every day, He was allowing me to share in the sufferings of Christ on the cross, and so grow in love for Him and for my baby. After realizing what Jesus was inviting me into through my daily sufferings, I decided to pick different intentions to offer them up for each day. This not only gave me a better outlook on the mystery of suffering, but it allowed me to unite my heart more closely to Jesus’ sacred heart and His bride, the Church.

After making it through almost half of the pregnancy, Aaron and I decided that it was time to educate ourselves on the art of childbirth. We signed up for a class that taught a method of natural childbirth, something that we had originally chosen largely due to my fear of needing an unnecessary caesarean surgery (c-section).  However, what we discovered in regards to the beauty of natural childbirth further edified my newfound appreciation for suffering. When Adam and Eve sinned against God in the Garden, God increased the pangs of women’s childbirth, “in pain shall you bring forth children.” (Genesis 3:16) While this was not originally part of God’s plan for women, it is a direct result of the Fall, and therefore is a pain that women’s bodies are supposed to experience. In fact, all suffering in the world directly traces back to that pivotal day when Adam and Eve chose to sin against God. The method of natural childbirth we chose to learn, called the Bradley method, did not teach any fancy techniques for dealing with the pain of contractions (think Lamaze breathing that you see in the movies), but instead, it taught me to embrace the pain by relaxing every muscle in my body and letting the contraction run its course. In fact, research has found that when the body fights against labor contractions, it wears itself out much more quickly and the contractions are more painful. The experience of suffering becomes much more tolerable and meaningful when you embrace the pain, rather than fight it or try to escape from it.

When we experience any type of suffering, our base instinct is to enable our “fight or flight” reaction by choosing one of these coping mechanisms: fight it by complaining about it, denying it, or becoming discouraged by it…. or flee from it by turning to alcohol, illicit drugs, or unhealthy relationships/habits. However, if we instead embrace the suffering, like I learned in my childbirth class, we are uniting ourselves to Jesus’ own sufferings on the Cross, as well as to the sufferings of all mankind. This is the essence of a concept called redemptive suffering. Jesus’ suffering and death redeemed our own lives by allowing him to pay the price for our sins. In the same way, our sufferings, when embraced and offered up to God, have the power to redeem ourselves and others as God so chooses. This is what St. Paul refers to in his letter to the Colossians, when he says: “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh, I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church” (1:24).

Jesus gave me the opportunity to test my newfound appreciation for suffering very early in the morning on August 6^th when our son decided to make his entrance into the outside world. In preparation for the big event, my husband and I compiled a list of intentions that I hoped to offer up my labor pains for, particularly in the height of labor. For over an hour, just before a new contraction welled up, my husband picked an intention for me to give the pain to, and interestingly enough, the severity of the contraction pains actually correlated accordingly to the severity of the intention. Labor was by far the most difficult amount of suffering I have ever experienced, but even when I was at my breaking point and wanting to give up (we’ve all been there!), the Lord delivered me from the pain, giving me one of the best gifts I’ve ever received: the gift of a new life. Which leads me to my final revelation on the mysteries of suffering: suffering always has the potential to bring forth new life.

You don’t have to be a woman in labor to embrace this gift of suffering; this Lent, as you reflect on the sufferings of Christ, consider the beautiful opportunity God gives you through your own sufferings to further unite yourself to Him and His mystical body, the Church, and offer it up for the life He desires to bring into the world. Let’s change the culture by bearing our crosses joyfully rather than fighting or hiding from them! “If God sends you many sufferings, it is a sign that He has great plans for you and certainly wants to make you a saint.” --St. Ignatius of Loyola

Springing Fourth

As Spring is trying to show it's beautiful face across the country, it seems like our lives are on a similar wave-length. The students and missionaries are getting "spring fever" but are also clinging to the passing weeks that we have left of the school year.

God has tremendously blessed this semester, and before I knew it, it was already the middle of April!! Here are a few recent highlights:

Spreading Christ's Love: This past Saturday, I was blessed to bring 12 women an hour south of Atchison to the University of Kansas campus in Lawrence, KS. We were there for a very specific reason: to gain experience spreading the love of God and the message of the Gospel to people who may have never heard it before. Oftentimes, attending a Catholic college can lead to a sort of complacency about the spiritual pulse of the world. In order to break out of the "Benedictine Bubble," we often need to break far out of our comfort zones. Thus came fourth the idea to take women in my senior bible studies and my entire "discipleship chain"- the women that are meeting weekly with me for mentorship or with one of the students that I mentor- on a mission to share God's love. What resulted were many Holy Spirit-filled conversations with a wide range of people on the KU campus- with atheists, pagans, preachers, lukewarm Catholics to name a few. I was amazed with the joy that I saw in the women after we returned from our hour of evangelizing. They were renewed with a missionary zeal to share the Gospel with all they encounter, which as Pope Francis says, is a "daily responsibility" (Joy of the Gospel). On the way back, we offered a rosary and some intercessions for those we encountered, and can only hope that God will continue to grow the seeds that He allowed us to sow in their hearts.

Oh Baby: Now beginning my 5th month of pregnancy, we are amazed at the support and love that we're receiving from the students and community here at Benedictine. On Sunday, we decided to throw a "Gender Reveal Party" to announce the gender of "baby Lofy" (it's a boy!!!!).  Around 45 students attended this casual event, donning their pink or blue with excitement as we anticipate our new gift of life. Here is a video recap of the night, with many joyful students: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx1YVmvGcXo

Continued Beginnings: As usual, it's that time of year where options are tossed around about the coming school year. Aaron and I did not have to go through much of a discernment process to realize that God is definitely still calling us to serve within this apostolate of FOCUS. Next year, Aaron will be taking on the role of Team Director. Though we haven't gotten the official word on where we'll be placed, we will be excited to announce that within the coming weeks!

Have a blessed Holy Week, and a joyous Easter!

A Blessed Journey

The past month has been incredibly blessed! Aaron and I had the privilege to take a pilgrimage to Rome, Italy during the first week of Christmas break as a final wedding gift. Our biggest purpose for going was to receive the Sposi Novelli blessing, a special gift given to any newlywed couple who travels to Rome within two months of their wedding day. We received the blessing during Pope Francis' General Public Audience which takes place every Wednesday that the Pope is in Rome. There has been a long-standing tradition of newlywed couples attending this audience in their wedding attire and receiving this blessing at the end of the Audience during the general blessing. We built a week around the Wednesday audience, spending the rest of our time making visits to some of the holiest places in Rome, as well as a weekend trip to Assisi.

Waiting for the Audience to begin!

View of the Pope's platform, with hundreds in St. Peter's Square just below

Pope Francis giving his homily

The highlight of the pilgrimage was definitely on Wednesday at the General Audience. As newlyweds, we were given priority seating up close and personal to the Holy Father (about 30 feet away from where he sat), with about 20 other newlywed couples from around the world (only about five were from the US). At the end of the audience, Pope Francis went out into the main crowd in St. Peter's Square and visited with the pilgrims while Vatican officials ushered all of us newlywed couples onto the front steps of St. Peter's Basilica. We waited there for about 30 minutes in great excitement, disbelief, and joy, looking like a scene from a bridal magazine with all these different shapes, sizes and nationalities of bridal gowns. The Holy Father slowly began making his way towards the newlywed couples, only after greeting his way along the rows of people, never forgetting to stop and kiss any baby he saw. We were standing in about the middle of the row of newlywed couples, so we were excited and ready to meet Pope Francis by the time he reached us. We happily received about 20 seconds with him, shaking his hand, telling him where we were from, and giving him a document of over 200 prayer intentions we brought with us from our students, family, and friends. Before he left us, he put his arms around myself and Aaron and gave us a silent and beautiful blessing. "Please pray for me," he smiled in broken English, and walked gently to the next couple. As I wiped the tears from my eyes and took Aaron's hand, we knew that God had allowed us to be in the presence of one of the most humble, gentle, and strong men our generation has ever seen. And we knew that whatever we would face in our married lives, it wouldn't ever be alone. Our marriage truly has been blessed by the grace of God.

We do have pictures of us meeting the Pope and receiving the blessing from him. We hope to put those out in our February newsletter, so keep an eye out! Another incredible grace that has happened since we returned is that many of the prayer intentions we brought with us to pray for while in Rome and also gave a copy of to Pope Francis have started to be answered in miraculous ways. This can only be attributed to how much God loves each one of His children on earth and how He desires us to come to Him with all our burdens. Prayers can be answered anywhere and in any way, but they're so much more powerful when they're shared with others!

Oh, and afterwards, we were interviewed on national tv by Good Morning America about it. They were doing a special in Rome that week and wanted an American newlywed couple to interview, so in God's great sense of humor, we were picked to do the interview. It may have been more exciting on any other day other than one where we just met Pope Francis.... That kind of trumped everything else that day. But it was still pretty cool, and hopefully we were able to bring some joy and truth to America's morning television world. Here is the link if you'd like to see it:  http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/kansas-couple-meeting-pope-francis-21259352

Wedded Bliss

It's the happiest day of your life. It goes faster than you think it will. It's worth the work in the end.

These are all phrases I've heard probably a hundred times in the past nine months of my engagement to Aaron about our wedding day. Though I will admit that all of these phrases can and do apply to the day of October 26th, 2013, I'd like to add one of my own: it's just the beautiful beginning. 

Mine and Aaron's wedding day was truly a beautiful beginning. Yes, it was the happiest day thus far of my 24 years of life. Yes, the day went faster than I had hoped it would. Yes, the months of planning and spiritually preparing bore much fruit in the end. However, the wedding is just one day. October 26, 2013 will now only be a happy, fast, and enjoyable memory. What Aaron and I now have is a Vocation. A life to begin building, together. Two lives, coming together as one to serve the Lord in whatever He allows us to go through-- the good times and the bad. And because of that, I couldn't be more joyful. Our wedding day happened once in our lives. But our marriage has--and will-- happen every single day, hour, minute of our lives. That's what we truly need to embrace. 

Thank you to all who prayed for us on our wedding day! Please continue to pray for us newlyweds as we begin our lives together. Below are some pictures from the day. 

Our crazy FOCUS teammates from Benedictine :) 

Roar-ing into Fall

The past couple weeks, my team and I have been deeply engaged in building relationships with the students on campus. One struggle that sometimes happens on campus is that missionaries forget that they can and should be themselves when interacting with students. The below music video is one creative way that we let our real personalities shine as a way to officially introduce the female missionaries. The students loved it and we have already found ways to more deeply connect with them as a result. Who knew?! This was filmed outside of the beautiful house I am privileged to live in for the next month with the four other female missionaries. Enjoy!

Abide in My Love

"As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Abide in my love."~ John 15:9

As our busy time of Fall Outreach is slowing down, I am reminded of how everything we do is completely dependent on God. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. We have exhausted our energies, efforts, and time these past few weeks on meeting new students, investing more deeply in current students, and interceding for the campus. It has been a fruitful couple of weeks that will now propel us into the regular flow of the semester. 

New BC missionaries with Benedictine's President Minnis at the Beanie Banquet, a beginning of the year tradition for freshmen, transfer students, and new staff

These past two weeks, we have been starting up our bible studies and mentorship on campus again. I am directly investing in seven women, meeting weekly with them for one-on-one mentorship. Out of those seven women are seven more whom they are investing in. This "chain" is a community of women who will walk with each other in sharing their faith with others. I am also leading two bible studies of senior women. Over the next week, upwards of 80 bible studies will begin on Benedictine's campus, with the majority of them being student-led. Please keep these in your prayers!

Saying "yes" to God's call

On another exciting note, Bridget, one of the students that I mentored while at Winona State University in 2011-2012, just entered the community of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist last month. Bridget will spend a year in formation with 20 other young women in Indiana as a postulant before taking her first vows and becoming a novice next August. Please pray for Bridget as she adjusts to this new way of life and continues to hear God's will! Below is her story:

Growing up in southern Minnesota in a Catholic family of 7, I was drawn to involvement in our parish's youth group early on. But it wasn't until I ventured off to Winona State University in the fall of 2011 that I began to really grow in my Catholic faith through experiences with FOCUS, the Newman Center, daily Mass and a daily holy hour. It wasn't long before my vocation was at the forefront of my mind and I felt a strong draw towards religious life! I looked into a few Orders but, on the spur of the moment, decided to visit the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist for their 2012 November Retreat. I knew upon spending this weekend with the Sisters that this Community to which Jesus was calling me becuase I was filled with such peace and JOY! I am immensely grateful to those who have helped me in this journey, especially my family and Fr. Jason Kern for his spiritual fatherhood and guidance!

Being the princess of God that she is! 

Bridget (left of center) with her postulant class 

Crossing a new bridge

Atchison bridge and railroad on the Missouri River

Hello from Atchison, Kansas!

Well, the time has come for another new year on mission. I can't believe that I've already been serving with FOCUS for over two years and am beginning another new school year on a different campus. Though it is tiring to move again and start over with new places, faces, and friendships for the third year in a row, I know that God has called me here for a specific reason (other than the obvious of getting married to Aaron).

We are entering into the thrust of Fall Outreach, the busiest time of the school year. Later this week, all of the Benedictine College (BC) students will converge on campus to kick off the new school year. FOCUS team Benedictine has been hard at work faithfully preparing for a fruitful year. Here is a quick look at what lies ahead for us in the next week:

• Thursday, August 22nd- Student missionary evangelization workshop and welcome BBQ
• Friday, August 23rd- building relationships with the women I'll be mentoring this year 
• Saturday, August 24th- Freshmen move in and FOCUS Dodgeball event
• Sunday, August 25th- Campus welcome events and meeting new students
• Monday, August 26th- "Monday Madness" outreach event 
• Tuesday, August 27th- Beanie banquet and FOCUS Luau (complete with suckled pig) 
• Wednesday, August 28th- Classes begin for BC students 

The goal at the end of these next couple weeks is that we will have met more people than we ever thought possible and built bridges with many students and staff on campus. Our regular schedule and weekly Bible studies will begin around the first week of September. 

Thank you for your prayers for team BC as we embark on this time of Fall Outreach and meeting souls for Jesus Christ!

UW-L Slideshow

Goodbye Eagles, Hello Ravens!

"Love that cannot suffer is not worthy of that name."~ St. Clare of Assisi

Hello from week three of FOCUS new staff training here in Ave Maria, Florida! The bugs are flying, the alligators are swimming, and the sun is blazing. So far, it's been a great time here of training, formation, and spiritual growth. But before I bring you down south, I need to catch you up on the end of my time up north!

We finished the school year in La Crosse in a truly blessed manner. Our students had a bittersweetness about them as they looked into the summer while saying "goodbye" to a year that went a little too quickly. Though I knew pretty much since Aaron and I got engaged about the unlikeliness of my returning to La Crosse for another school year, it still made it difficult to part from the roots I had planted there. I spent my last day on campus going up to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe (a true theme for my year there) with a group of my female students from this year. It was a beautiful "send off" as one of them put it... a great way to go as women back to the source and summit of our faith-- our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ and His bride, the Church.

Many of our students have entered their summers with a strong will, devoted prayer life, and spirit of evangelization eager to share their joy in Christ with their friends back home. Several of them are traveling the country, from Ireland to Africa and in between for studies and mission. Though I have said "goodbye" to the women and men at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse, it should only bring me tears of joy and gratitude for a year well-lived. I am excited to see the fruits that God will bear in FOCUS' second year on campus.

My last day on campus in La Crosse

Now for some news...... For the upcoming 2013-2014 school year, I will officially be serving as a full-time missionary at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas! Aaron and I will be side-by-side, along with our 8 other teammates, reaching college students for Christ and empowering them to be the future leaders of the Church and the world.  I am excited for this new adventure, having gone from helping start up FOCUS on two campuses to now serving at the first-ever FOCUS campus. Benedictine is a thriving Catholic college who has truly reclaimed their identity over the past 15 years, thanks in part to FOCUS' presence there. I am ready to help reach the lost amongst the Catholic community there and help build up students to reach their peers on a wide variety of levels. Below is a picture of me with my new team on the beach here in south Florida! 

FOCUS @ Benedictine, 2013-2014

Now what? For the next two and a half weeks, I will be continuing my service at New Staff Training for FOCUS. Below is the latest all staff picture for FOCUS 2013-2014. I'm pretty easy to spot in the bright yellow skirt in the front row! :). I will be returning to Colorado for about two and a half weeks in July to hopefully meet up with many of you, spend time with my family, and finish up some wedding plans. Like the St. Clare of Assisi quote I listed at the top, these past six weeks have been full of many changes but have also been graced in so many ways, all in the name of love. 

Haiti Reflections

Our entire group in Warf Jeremie, Haiti on the second day 

I can't believe it's already been a month since I've gone to Haiti. As I mentioned in my previous post, there were many amazing fruits that were borne in my heart and the hearts of the students and fellow missionaries on the trip. Having some space from the trip has allowed me for more reflection time on the top "take-aways" from the experience:

• Poverty is a huge reality in our world and is at times the norm rather than the exception. This has helped me have a better perspective on the own poverty that the U.S. experiences, as well as just how "privileged" our lives truly are as middle class Americans with a college education. As a result, we must use the gifts and resources we've been given to give back to others in need and truly build up the body of Christ. 

• It doesn't take a lot in one's life to be happy. Material things and media are bigger causes of unhappiness than not having "things." It sometimes takes being stripped of these material goods to realize the true joy that you have within you. I saw that reality play out not only in our students but in myself during the week. 

• One of the most important things we can have in our lives is hope. I saw so many people who had lost their hope--or who never had it to begin with. However, Jesus can restore all hope and joy in one's heart and life. Amidst all the destruction and brokenness that Haiti is still experiencing, there is still the love and light of Christ reigning throughout that country-- and the world.

• God can move very fast in someone's life. The students who went on the trip with us all had very profound experiences and deeper conversions in their faith. It amazed me how many of them were transformed from the inside out from the beginning of the week to the end of the week. I was so blessed to be a witness to the ways God was moving in their lives, and to truly embrace a 24/7 missionary lifestyle, utilizing both the corporal and spiritual works of mercy in such an intentional way.

• One of the most amazing things about going on a mission trip is the impact it continues to have once you've come back. The stories keep coming from our students and missionaries on the trip about the amazing ways God has graced our lives with new zeal and strength for what He's calling us to do. We even have a student who has decided to get confirmed in the Catholic faith, after not believing in God for most of her life. Praise God!

Please enjoy a video slideshow below that one of our students put together from the week. Thank you again for helping make this experience possible. God bless! 

Hearts Changed in Haiti

Bonjou! [Good morning]!

Well, I have returned safely from the mission trip to Haiti. Though I have returned and am easing back into my life and mission ground here, I know that I am not quite the same. There is no way I could be after a remarkable week such as this.

Our group of 12 missionaries (4 FOCUS missionaries and 8 students) experienced and shared the love of Christ in such a unique way this past week with the beautiful people of Haiti. In the countless ways that we were different from one-another, we shared the common bond of being children of God-- with all the joy and suffering that comes with that.

There is so much that I could share about this week, so I think I might devote a couple blog posts to sharing both the experiences we had there and the fruits I have gained from it. For now though, the biggest question I keep getting is "what did you do all week?" Therefore, here is a (somewhat) brief recap of the week, with pictures at the bottom:

**Every week day we attended morning Mass at 5:30am in Creole, English Spanish, and French, respectively, which was the best way to start the day and was so beautiful to experience Mass in a different language and culture.

Sunday (3/17): Flew to Haiti, arrived at the compound (a beautiful several thousand acre property built by the Scalabrini Fathers, a religious order of priests from Italy. The property also contained two seminaries with 300 seminarians in residence, a religious order of sisters, the bishop's residence, a couple missionary organizations, a retreat center, and health care professionals for a medical and therapy clinic).

Monday (3/18): Traveled via tap-tap (a tin structure that hooks up to a pick-up truck and can hold at least 12 people in the back) to Warf Jeremie and Missio Bella orphanage and school. This is one of the poorest places in Haiti, with homes consisting of 20 square feet of tin or cardboard walls and desolation everywhere. We visited every classroom at the mission and played with the kids, who called us "blanc" (white). They were excited and filled with joy to have these strangers play with them, which was such a contrast from the desolation we saw in the people of the village on our way in. For the first full day, this was quite the impactful experience.

Tuesday (3/19): Stayed at the compound and helped out in the factories and grounds keeping, including a pasta factory and bread factory. I also had the opportunity to attend a zumba workout class put on by the therapy clinic for Haitian people looking to increase their mobility and health. This was probably one of the best experiences I had because for that hour we were all the same-- across languages, cultures, races, and class levels-- we came together for a common goal, and it was beautiful.

Wednesday (3/20): Visited the Missionaries of Charity's orphanage for the dying- this orphanage, established and run by Mother Teresa's religious order, finds abandoned and sick babies of Haiti and gives them the care they need until they pass away or return to health. This was definitely the most difficult day emotionally, seeing the fear and pain in these babies' eyes, and knowing that all we could do was give them that "look of love which they crave" if only for a couple hours.

Thursday (3/21): Visit Corail, a village established after the 2010 earthquake for families who lost their homes. The Scalabrini Fathers help run a school there and have also built a church which will be opened on April 14th. We walked around to some of the homes in the village (which were much sturdier than most we'd seen in Haiti but not much larger) and prayed with people in their homes, which was extremely powerful.

Friday (3/22): Helped out at the compound with a youth group retreat for the Haitian youth of Corail, and also went back to Corail for the Stations of the Cross, in which we walked around the entire village on a dusty road for about two hours with adults and children of Corail. This was beautiful because it felt like Jesus' walk to Calvary.

Saturday (3/23): Flew back to NYC after some sad goodbyes to the beautiful people of Haiti and missionaries at the compound.

Sunday (3/24): Debriefing in New York and Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral with Cardinal Dolan, followed by sad goodbyes to all the students and missionaries on the trip.

I will be making another post next week about the fruits of this trip, particularly in regards to the changed hearts of the students and missionaries on the trip. Thank you for your prayers and support-- it was such a gift to be there and I will truly not be quite the same. God bless!  "Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me." ~Matthew 25:40

Our entire group of 12 crammed into the tap-tap

Two of our students making friends in Warf Jeremie

Beautiful girls in Corail who walked with me for the two-hour Stations of the Cross

The Faithfulness of God

Happy March!

Wow, a lot has certainly happened on campus and in my life this past month. God is good and His plans are truly amazing. Even in this season of Lent, as we are all committing ourselves to deeper practices of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, God remains faithful to us in the desert. We are reminded in yesterday's second reading for Mass, that "no trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13 

I will be traveling to Haiti on March 16-24th for a FOCUS Spring Break mission trip with 11 other missionaries and students from around the U.S. Please keep us in your prayers! Thank you for your prayers and support of this mission. Please enjoy a brief picture recap of the past month's highlights below:

As most of you hopefully know from my February Newsletter, Aaron Lofy and I got engaged on February 1st at the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in La Crosse. Aaron and I have set the date for October 26, 2013 in Granby, CO. Thank you so much for your prayers for us during this exciting time!

February 8th: Winona-La Crosse dinner and dance

February 9th: Pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe with my Sophomore Bible Study 

February 12th: Wisconsin Right to Life Legislative Conference- We traveled to Madison to learn how to talk to our local legislators about life issues. 

February 13th: Ash Wednesday "advertising" on campus  

Asking the Master of the Harvest

Today is the first day of the new semester here in La Crosse. This weekend and late last week, my team and I prayed and prepared for the beginning of another hopeful and fruitful semester. One of the amazing things about being on a first year campus is seeing how much change occurs throughout the year. Just four and a half months ago, we were beginning a completely new movement, without knowing a single soul on campus. Now, at the end of January, we are beginning the semester with 11 weekly Bible studies, 80 students in regular attendance and about 10 more with sparked interest in attending, and potentially 20 student missionaries who are delving into a deeper relationship with Christ and His Church and having the desire to share their faith with their friends.

With all this beautiful fruit, we need to keep in mind something very crucial: God is in charge. The providential nature of the Church liturgy never ceases to amaze me. The daily Mass reading for this past Saturday, when my team and I were having our half-day morning retreat, reminded us so pointedly that: "the harvest is abundant, but the laborers are few, so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest. Go on your way; behold, I am sending you like lambs among wolves" (Luke 10:2-3). We know the mission laid out before us this semester will not be an easy one, but God has promised that it will certainly be an abundant one. Now that we have some fellow laborers (student missionaries) to help gather the harvest, we are even more convicted of God's will and plan for the campus of UW-La Crosse.

The semester started off with a wonderful confirmation of God's faithfulness this morning: eight students attending morning Holy Hour and Eucharistic Adoration-- which is almost 4x greater than we have ever had at a morning Holy Hour. I can only sense that this is the beginning of a very fruitful harvest. Thank you for your prayers, they are working and are greatly appreciated! 

Beautiful snowy day at the Guadalupe Shrine in La Crosse 

SEEKing the Face of Christ

Happy New Year!

There was honestly no better way to bring in 2013 than with a twenty-minute firework show off the bluffs of La Crosse, WI.  While standing around in the freezing Wisconsin cold with my comrades, the bright colors and loud noises filled the sky, and I couldn't help but think that God was about to do something big-- that these man-made marvels were somehow a small reminder of the power of God's beautiful providence.

It's only been two weeks, but so far, I couldn't be more correct: God has magnificent plans for 2013, and He's already begun carrying them out.

On January 1st, 2013, I set off on a coach bus with 42 students, our chaplain, a religious sister, and my three missionary teammates. Our destination would be reached a mere 28 hours and a couple thousand  miles later: SEEK, the national FOCUS Conference in Orlando, FL. For almost everyone on the bus, this was their first time experiencing a conference of this magnitude, with 6,300 young adults in attendance from all over the country (and some other parts of the world). As we pulled into the beautiful Disney World Resort, the bus filled with anticipation. Right then, I knew that every person who stepped off that bus would not be returning as quite the same person.

SEEK was the first national FOCUS conference in three years. Having had a profound experience at the previous one when I was a junior in college, I was filled with anticipation, excitement, and a bit of nostalgia at the plans the Lord had in store for those in attendance this year. Throughout the five days of the conference, I watched our students literally transform before my eyes. The powerful messages from the 5+ speakers per day, the hour-and-a-half long daily Mass with 6,000 faithful, the profound discussions with peers, lay, and religious from all over the country, and the abundant opportunities for reconciliation and reconnection with the Lord had all culminated in an extreme outpouring of grace. Our students appeared lighter, more peaceful, and more joyful.

One of the biggest highlights of the conference was on the evening of the third day, when everyone had the opportunity to participate in a two-hour prayer session adoring Jesus. There were 135 priests that night hearing confessions for four hours. The line for confessions easily stretched a length greater than a couple football fields.  It was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen: young adults grasping at that moment of grace--the opportunity to be washed clean of all their sins and encounter Jesus' divine love, mercy, and forgiveness. For many, it was their first time attending the sacrament of reconciliation since they were children. The Bible tells us that "heaven rejoices more over one sinner who repents than over 99 who do not stray" (Luke 15:7). I wish I could have seen what heaven looked like over those five days when literally thousands repented.

On the bus ride home, we gave everyone the opportunity to share with the group how God impacted them while at the conference. Nearly everyone on that bus shared stories of joy, friendship, deeper relationship with God, and powerful conversion. While listening to grace after grace that God had outpoured on our group, I could feel my soul rejoicing! This is why I am a missionary. This is why I have given up seeming "worldly" success and desires to live radically for God and help others to encounter Him in a deeper way.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. A week like this doesn't come around very often, but it only takes one week to change a lifetime. Just like a spectacular fireworks show, you can't help knowing that you are partaking in something magnificent. None of this would have been possible without the prayers and support of my wonderful mission partners, so thank you!! Please enjoy some pictures below from this amazing week. To hear more about the SEEK conference, visit www.seek2013.com. 

Me with some of the beautiful women from La Crosse 

A view of the Dolphin Resort- where SEEK was held

6,000 people waiting to adore our Lord

The wonderful UW-La Crosse Group!

Our Lady of Guadalupe, Pray for us!

Last Wednesday was a very special day for the UW-La Crosse FOCUS team. December 12th is the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which commemorates the Marian apparition that occurred near modern-day Mexico City, Mexico in December of 1531.

La Crosse is home to a beautiful Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which is a pilgrimage place for faithful, visitors, and wanderers to come and experience the love of God within the bluffs of the La Crosse valley. There is a beautiful church at the top of the Shrine as well as a rosary walk, Stations of the Cross, and a Memorial to the Unborn. I would often visit this mystical place last year when I lived only 40 minutes away, and it has been such a gift this year to be only 5 miles away from it and to "escape" for awhile as often as I please (I've averaged almost every weekend!).

Team UW-L at the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe 

This summer, as I was doing some praying and planning for starting the FOCUS mission at UW-La Crosse, I realized that we should adopt Our Lady of Guadalupe as our patron saint and intercessor for the students, staff, and missionaries involved. The team and I began a small devotion to Mary as Our Lady of Guadalupe, praying daily for her intercessory prayers and protection on our mission here. We were even given a beautiful painting of the Our Lady of Guadalupe image somewhat providentially by a fellow FOCUS staff member.

Last Wednesday, on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, our team celebrated the gift that Mary has been in her prayers and intercessions for our mission here by going up to the Shrine for Mass. Cardinal Burke, the former bishop of La Crosse who started the Shrine was visiting from his current clerical position in Rome to celebrate Mass on this beautiful feast day. Our team was so blessed to meet the Cardinal, to tell him of the work that we have been doing here in La Crosse, and to get a picture with him!

FOCUS team excitedly meeting Cardinal Burke 

For more information on the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe or the Shrine in La Crosse, check out this website: http://www.guadalupeshrine.org/resources/guadalupe

Our Lady of Guadalupe, Pray for us!

Vigilant Hearts

"Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy...be vigilant at all times and pray..." Luke 21:34

Happy Advent! The past month has been full of graces which I can only attribute to the peace and blessings that I gained from my Rome trip. Our team, students, and campus movement as a whole are truly catching a new stride. God's graces are abounding, and I am reminded more and more that this is His mission, not ours. This Advent, as we await the coming of our Lord Jesus, I am truly humbled by looking back on these past three months of the semester and realizing all that God has done, and preparing my heart for whatever comes next in this mission. Below is a short recap of the month's events and blessings:

Women's Night: Discernment (November 5th): 
We were blessed to have two Sisters of St. Francis of the Martyr St. George join us for our first-ever Women's Night. 20 women attended this lovely evening which held a discussion on discerning God's will in life-- from everything to deciding one's major to deciding one's vocation. We are looking forward to many more women's nights in the remainder of the school year, as they are a wonderful way to grow together as daughters of God.

Men's Night: Be a Man! (November 5th): 
The men of UW-L gathered together to "be men" and to listen to a talk from our very own chaplain, Fr. James. Being that I am not a man, I was not there, so these are the only details I know... but based on the way the men have been striving to honor us women lately, I think it went well! ;)

Thanksgiving Potluck (November 15th): 
Every year, the Newman Center puts on a lovely Thanksgiving potluck for all parishioners and students. There were about 300 people in attendance this year and more food than you could ever dream of for a Thanksgiving meal! It was wonderful seeing the students of UW-L interact with the parishioners of the Newman Center and enjoy a lot of hospitality from their home away from home. There were about 150 students in attendance.

Cultivation (Ongoing):
It's been wonderful seeing my team reach deeper levels of relationship with the students that God has asked us to invest in. We now have six students who have decided to make a deeper commitment in their relationship with God and begin a weekly mentorship with their prospective missionary in order to deepen their faith and begin sharing it more intentionally with their friends. Praise God for the boldness of these new "student missionaries!"


SEEK 2013 Conference (January 1-7th):
The first week of January, we are blessed to attend one of the nations' largest gatherings of college-aged students for an amazing opportunity to encounter God's grace and love in Orlando, Florida for the SEEK 2013 Conference, presented by FOCUS. These past two weeks especially, team UW-La Crosse has been hard at work praying, fasting, and inviting students to attend this conference with us. We will be taking 36 students with us to join the 6,000 other young adults in search of a deeper meaning for their life and their faith. For more info on the SEEK conference, check out the website: seek2013.com

Rome Sweet Home

Bongiorno!

I honestly cannot believe that I just spent a week in Rome! God's goodness was abundant throughout this holy and sacred week, and I could truly spend months reflecting on what I saw, heard, and experienced while over there.

St. Peter's Bascillica at 6am

One thing that amazed me about this trip was how well organized it was for a group of 100 of us FOCUS missionaries to see Rome, participate in discussion on the New Evangelization, and offer encouragement to one-another for each of our on-campus missions. We were true pilgrims in a land where many have trod before, and we sincerely felt God's hand orchestrating everything in His divine providence throughout the entire week.

The sunrise over St. Peter's Square

 On the very long trip home last Sunday, I was thankful to have the time to do some reflecting on the events of the week. While the entire week in itself was impactful, there were a few things in particular that really struck me while over there. Below are some of my reflections:
  
The Synod Fathers: Throughout the week, we had the blessed opportunity to hear from several Bishops and Cardinals who were key participants in the Synod on the New Evangelization. Curtis Martin, the founder of FOCUS who was also a Synod participant, boldly and graciously asked these strong men of faith to take time out of their extremely busy schedules to spend at least an hour with 100 young adults from the U.S. The insights that the bishops and cardinals shared not only on the New Evangelization but on every aspect of our faith were truly inspirational and also very humbling. It was exciting to realize that FOCUS is definitely not the only way the Church is responding to this call for a re-igniting of the Catholic faith in the world, and it gave great hope to me for the future of the Church and the world. It also gave me a deeper poverty for the global church, particularly our brothers and sisters in many African countries who are literally dying for their faith on a daily basis. Although we too are facing a crisis of Religious Freedom in our country, it truly put things in perspective for me hearing about what these fellow children of God are enduring in their homelands for our religion.

Cardinal Schonborn of Vienna speaking with FOCUS missionaries

Connected with Christ: Rome was chalk-full of relics (holy articles) of the life and Passion of Jesus. We had the blessed opportunity to visit many of these holy churches which contained these articles. Some of these included: part of the cross that Jesus died on, a thorn from His crown of thorns, the sign that rested above His head on the cross ("INRI"), a large part of the pillar which Jesus was scourged at right before His crucifixion,--- and the most impactful for me--the Holy Stairs which Jesus walked up right after being scourged, and which at the top He was condemned to death. Here is an excerpt from my journal on my encounter with these Passion relics: "...being united with Jesus' passion and my fellow Christian brothers and sisters for centuries and making an active choice of following Jesus Christ always--what a truly profound experience!! The holiness of these relics was palpable, the sorrow for sins was profound and sanctifying, and the unity experienced to Jesus and all who came before me on these stairs and with these items was powerful. I will forever remember this experience." 

The Holy Stairs-- as an act of penance for Jesus' death, pilgrims must ascend these stairs on their knees

The Papal Audience: On Wednesday, we attended the Papal Audience-- a longstanding tradition at St. Peter's Square where thousands of faithful Christians gather to hear a message and receive a blessing from the Pope. Being in the audience of the Holy Father with 100,000 other faithful Catholics was quite profound, and the universality of the Church truly struck me there more than anywhere else in Rome. The entire audience was translated into eight different languages appropriate to the people in the audience that day, with Pope Benedict speaking a short message to the audience in each language. From my journal: "What beauty that something so deep as our faith would be the connecting point between 100,000 people, at least 8 languages, and hundreds of countries on just a random Wednesday afternoon in Vatican City. Even the fact that Pope Benedict and his delegates take time out of their busy schedules on a weekly basis to do this is very humbling and beautiful."

FOCUS meets the Pope! I'm the really short one right across from the Pope in between the men with the yellow and blue shirts :)

Assisi: On Friday, we were given a free day to explore anything else in Rome or other parts of Italy. I took a day trip with about 15 other people to the beautiful town of Assisi. This is truly a pilgrim town, nestled along a hill that stretched several miles. My good friend (and former teammate) Mary spent the day with me making a pilgrimage through the hills and narrow cobblestone streets of Assisi. We visited the tombs of St. Francis and St. Claire of Assisi, two truly humble people who, though they lived in the 1100's, are extremely influential examples even today of lives totally surrendered to Jesus Christ in poverty and charity. This was a perfect escape from the bustling and at times quite loud streets of Rome, with many peaceful memories that will remain with me for a long time.

The hillside of Assisi 

"In you, O Lord, I have found my peace." Psalm 131 

As you can probably tell, I could easily talk about this wonderful Rome pilgrimage in much greater depth. Hopefully this gives you a greater taste of the ways that God truly blessed this trip. I am eternally thankful to the Lord for giving me this opportunity and have been alive with the peace and insights I gained while I was there. I am making a small presentation at our Newman center in the upcoming weeks to share with the students and my teammates the insights of this experience and how it connects back to the mission that God has set us on here in La Crosse and in our own corners of the world. I will be putting the slideshow I make for that up on here next time! Below are a few more pictures I really love :).

One of the many beautiful churches that we visited in Rome

The most amazing cappucino I have ever had

Pizza!

Ciao! <3